Kerry, I'm so sorry because I know you've invested a lot of time and heart in this process. Perhaps it's easier if you think not in terms of how smart she is (and I'm sure she is VERY for you to spend so much time on this!), but rather as a blessing that she may not have as many special needs as some of the children in these extremes?
This is a great site for all gifted children and their families. Since we also have a toddler, I'm likely to be here a lot too just to learn more, even after we get our other passwords.