We have discussed my daughter's placement; she is going into 8th grade & is in a mixture of gifted & advanced classes. She says that the adv classes are fairly easy compared to gifted. She has benefited so much from the program. Pulling her out would be a disservice to her at his point. And I agree that my son might resent not having the same chance his sister did.
My husband & his family seem to be in the camp that "gifted" kids are not socialized properly. I tend to think they just tend to act different socially which makes some people uncomfortable. It's interesting, though, that she has dozens of friends both in & out of the program. I see no social problems in her at all. And I can't imagine my son, who talks to everyone, regressing socially. His big issue is being a super-perfectionist.
I also think the labels are a big deal to him. I don't necessarily like them myself, but there isn't anything I can do about that. If my son didn't have to leave the school he is in, I have a feeling my husband would be more receptive. I totally understand the Special Ed point; technically gifted ed is special ed in this county. I know that we have inclusion classes but I am not sure at what level.
I am going to have my daughter talk to him about her experience. And I am going to try to approach from the pov of sports--he is a volunteer coach for our high school football team. I still have to fine tune my analogy, though.
Thanks for the feedback. Any other thoughts are more than welcome.