After watching so many gifties fail, I decided on how I would handle these issues. She is only 12 and going to 8th so I hopefully see what happens.
Before Kinder, I just went with what her level was in any subject. She did not wish to read, but loved science and art. The main issue was enthusiasm for us. If she was interested in anything, we sought it out. I also introduced her to museums and many children's museum where she could touch, etc. She went to a great preschool where she took french and she did learn a lot.
We kept checking the book "acids and bases" out of the library and she could not get enough of it.
In Kinder, we began homework. It was issued at this school solely to learn how to do it and establish habits. We always did the extra credit. I knew that she would hit puberty and these habits had better be in her mind or she would become a bad statistic. I instilled in her the work ethic - which anyone needs. However, it was a great school and fairly flexible.
My favorite assignment was to get a book from home and pick out all the nouns in it. Well, she grabbed "Once Upon a Potty" knowing how I felt about these kinds of words. She found all the nouns and enjoyed the assignment tremendously.
She decided to read in first grade and jumped three grade levels in one month. That is how she does things and I accept it. She is always above grade level and then, with all the information she has collected, she puts it all together and boom, she excels. This is not uncommon for gifties.
Now, she is in middle school and is more defiant with me. She will ask questions, but on her timing. But, my rules apply that she has to do the extra credit and all her work. But, she does it herself.
I insist that she joined band and choir and now it is her life. She fits in better with the students there. She is expected to be active in two clubs. She chose science fair (and went to state) and I chose yearbook. There are not many clubs here and as she learns the yearbook applications, will love the design aspect. She is also in GT club, which was not very active, but they took some cool trips.
Basically, most of the students here just want a "c" in any class and we expect "A"s. I have her enrolled in a community college English course this summer so she may stay in band and choir and also take hs level Spanish. At least, she will have to think.