Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Introversion V Aspergers

A timely post for me. D15 was evaluated for a non-verbal learning disability last week, and the evaluator told me afterwards that he thought if he tested her for Asperger's, he would find that she has it. We had been told when she was much younger (about 4) by an evaluator that he though she did NOT have it. So I had never really bothered to read or learn much about it. I got some books out of the library, and have been reading them for the past couple of days. I have also been puzzling over gifted/introverted vs. Aspergers. Here are some traits D has that match up with Aspergers:

- Problems with eye contact
- Almost no ability to make small talk, she will be completely silent all the way through a dinner or get together with others. She is a little better with extended family, and does okay (not great) with her small group of friends or immediate family. Not just shy, literally NO IDEA how to make appropriate conversation.
- A lot of difficulty with social cues. She just can't read people - - she is often not aware if she has made them angry or frustrated. I think it has made her more introverted, as she can't easily predict how people will react.
- Obsessive interests when younger (Harry Potter and LOTR). We would meet other kids, and their parents would say, "Oh, my junior loves HP, too". But... they could not list every textbook, spell, etc., and D was usually disappointed at their lack of depth and detail. (This is one that could just be "gifted", not Aspie).
- Parallel play until about 3rd grade, when she made her first friend with some help from adults around her. (Could be true for some gifted kids who just have different interest from their peers. But I think that was not D's real issue... she really didn't have much interest in other people, nor any idea how to go about the reciprocal acts required to start and maintain a friendship.).

Some Asperger's traits she doesn't have:
- Obsessive routines and rituals (although she had some "golden rules" when she was younger -- like she HAD to be the first one down the stairs). But none now.
- Repeated motions
- Preoccupation with parts of objects.

The book that I am finding most useful both in (1) recognizing her Aspie traits, and (2) having suggestions on how to help her is "The Everything Parent's Guide to Children With Asperger's Syndrome" by William Stillman. He is Aspie himself, which gives a very useful perspective. He really "gets it".

I am trying to figure out if there is any benefit to having this evaluator do the testing. What are the pros and cons of having a diagnosis? I admit, insurance costs enter my mind... while pre-existing conditions can't cause denial of coverage going forward, it could drive cost. I wouldn't think we would try any medication, if there is any... The only thing I have seen so far where a diagnosis might be useful is maybe we could request a single room for her at college based for medical reasons. I think the odds are about 90% that she will have a rocky roommate experience... tough on her AND the roommate.