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Contact these folks and see if you can get your son to some of these events. Talk to the other parents. At some point homeschooling will be more appealing than what is going on in school, and yes, you will probabaly have to 'unschool' for a while while he recovers from what he has been through.

You have worked so hard withing the system, and still not gotten your son's needs met. Sounds like a private psychoeducational evaluation is needed to sort out what is really going on with your son.

Best Wishes,
Grinity