Hi Mag - good luck
You can try throwing out the quote that differentiation works when the child's readiness to learn level is within 3 grade levels of the class average, but that beyond 3 grade levels is too much for any teacher to accomplish. I don't think that there is any research to back that up, but it's what I've heard the other YSP moms and dads talking about. Sometimes I attribute stuff to 'My Internet Parents of Unsually Gifted Children group has found...' and then refer the school to Davidson's Educators Guild who provide free help to schools.
My main advice is -
1) take notes, it will give your hands something to do if they say: 'But how will she feel when the other kids have their driver's license' or whatever. And they will.
2) The minute the meeting is over, type up your notes, post them here, and then send an email to everyone who was at the meeting, saying: 'Sometimes it's hard for me to listen to so many ideas, so if you don't mind, I've typed up what I heard you say at the meeting, and request that you look it over and let me know if this is what was actually said and agreed to:'
3) Sometimes I've left these meeting feeling emotionally beat up, so if you can arrange something fun for later in the day, that would be good. Sometimes I've left the meetings 'high as a kite' over promises that were made, and never intended to be followed through on.
4) A basic fact of life is that Parents and Educators use the same words to mean totally different things. Don't 'smile and nod' at the generalities that float by. Instead say: 'I'm not sure what you are saying, could you give a specific example?' Be polite, but if you have a part of yourself that want approval and to please people - metaphorically tie that part up and muzzle her. Hey, we are conditioned that way. Instead, take all of us in there with you, larger than life and able to extract karmic justice when needed. You role is to help the school realize that THEY have a problem, and that YOUR solution is best for all concerned. Kind of a facilitator.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
