One of the best things that DS8 got out of being pulled from a school situation in which he wasn't being sufficiently challenged was that he no longer wrestles with the "smartest kid in class/school" stuff. It wasn't good for him in sooooo many ways. Back then, he bragged about how smart he was, which was a sign that he felt really uncomfortable with who he was and how he was perceived. Now that we're homeschooling, he's just himself. Even though he's much further ahead in his studies than the kids in the neighborhood, he never brags to them. He doesn't need to. He's a nicer, more confident, happier person. It seems a lot healthier.
For kids in traditional school situations, I sympathize mightily. I think it's very hard to wear those labels. You do get treated differently when you have one. And woe unto the smart kid who doesn't learn some particular thing easily or score the highest on a test once. There's a surprising amount of pressure.
I don't have any solutions. I wish I did. I think your DD probably just has to work out her boundaries and learn how to communicate them kindly but firmly. But it's not easy. I'm glad you're conscious of this and are supporting her.
