One thing I worry about is that she is already younger than many at her level and is impulsive and emotional by nature and that would make her two years younger and I don't know how mature she will be. Her language is very mature though and she uses words like concentration, structure, expression, cumulonimbus, etc. (she tends to use the proper formal terms for things,will say "flatulence" for gas told people Santa gave her a "plush toy" for Christmas etc.) where some kids in her three year old preschool are barely spitting things out so it would be nice for her to eventually have children she can actually talk to around.
To bad they won't let you observe a classroom...It sounds like you think 1st graders understand 'plush toy' and 'structure.' But yes, better than 4 year olds do. Really, how is she supposed to develop her social skills with kids who are litterally speaking a different language?
I know that is the struggle most parents on here have but since she is only 3.5 I really don't know how gifted she is.
You won't ever really know, but evenually you'll be able to observe various groups of children and when you finally find a group that she looks 'average' in - then you'll know. To me I think this is going to take some doing. And when I say 'looks' average, I don't mean that she looks like the kid you see at home, not the social construct that she is using at school.
Yes, they gave her tests and some of her abilities are extremely high and none are below what most places call gifted, but she may not be gifted to the point some kids are on here that would require her to actually be in a different grade.
Have you read
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/iowa_accel_scale.htmIowa Acceleration Scale Manual? That really helped me understand that single gradeskips are wonderful for the top half of MG kids, and a good 'base' for those 'more unusual' that.
Of course - gradeskips are a compromise. If you have a program that will bring together other kids of a similar level of giftedness and similar age and emotional maturity level (and there are a few like that) then go for it! A compination of full and subject accelerations has also worked well for many kids. Sometimes schools are set up that everyone changes classes for all of their subjects and there is flexability between grades. That's heavenly.
One thing I like about difficult decisions, is that they help me clarify what my values. That's about all I like about them, but it's something.
My basic view is that you are dealing with a situation that our culture hasn't yet figured out how to handle. You will do the best you can, but it just plain won't be what your DDs deserve. The 'least bad' options will probably be enough in the end. Change happens slowly enough that the best we can hope for is to make the small, but continuous changes so that before our grandchildren come along, these questions will have become 'not a big deal.'
For The Grandchildren!
Grinity
