I think girls like to talk about their day right after school and boys are better to do it at bed time. But see what works for your family.
I have a routine with my DS that we talk about his day before bed - just one on one. I try to listen, not judge and not give advice unless asked. (that' hard for me) Talking is a way of dealing with those feelings, making feelings smaller, talking helps feelings to be external, releasing some frustration.
I have a deal with my kids: they can come to me and say this is a Mommy listening time and I agree not to say anything unless they ask.
I think it helpful to understand they are not being bad. They just have not learned well enough yet how to do the right thing.
A book Children are from heaven has helped me. Especially the parts about sensitive children.
Ex.
how playground time was today?
"Not good"
why?
"There were too many kids in the football game and I couldn't even tell who was on my team"
Any ideas on how you could make it better?
"I could bring in my own football and get another game going"
That sounds like a good idea.
