what did you end up doing with your son???
I don't know why this question makes me laugh! No I do know, because I have finally realized that nothing I do will ever be "the thing" for our kid that makes his school life run smoothly once and for all. When I accept this, then I can even celebrate it, revel in it! Seriously though, I tried to look at things one at a time as much as possible and always attack the variable which I sensed to be the biggest at that moment.
In third grade that turned out to be high anxiety. This eventually involved going head to head with a very experienced teacher and TELLING her (no more asking) that DS9 would be allowed to leave the room and look for another adult in the building at any time during the day when he was feeling overwhelmed. That helped a lot.
In 4th grade his teacher and student teacher were both a dream. DS10 was quirky and weird like he always is, but he was not only accepted, but appreciated and celebrated for being his own unique self. Sometimes he worked more and sometimes less (not bad attitude though), but the teacher adapted. What a great year for me!
A fringe benefit of the fabulous teachers was that we got to see that even in a great setting, SOMETHING was going on that still needed to be addressed. He'd been diagnosed with ADHD, dysgraphia, anxiety, but at that point we still thought it might be maturity, asynchronous development, ?? stuff.
5th grade hit and he started at the magnet gifted school full time. He was doing great socially and "okay" academically with one teacher, but miserable in every respect with the other teacher. We addressed the anxiety piece again, went back to counseling and saw some improvement, but by the end of 5th grade I had figured that I could home school and work both if 6th wasn't better - I work at a University so doable.
In 5th grade we also tried two different ADHD meds; one which made him too anxious and another which made him sleepy. I think a lot/most/? ADHD people don't need meds to do what they want in life and when he was smaller i wasn't going to try anything. At the end of summer we tried a third medication and it worked. The difference in focus on things he doesn't want to do is unbelievable. We were told at some point along the line that people with ADHD often have "hyper-focus" on things they are into - hence the reading on the bed for hours at a time, not being distracted by anything.
Anyway, on medication this year his work is more consistent and complete, and he's still his funny, quirky self, and still sort of immature, and way up and down on scores in different areas. He's never going to be the straight A student personality, but if he just can find his passion, he'll do something amazing!
I don't know what next year will bring, but I'm enjoying a little breather right now! (Sorry to go on - you did ask, right?)
