Hi Space!
So glad you are here!
I don't think that it is at all unusual that you don't feel smart. Of the people I know, the smartest ones feel the dumbest. We also, as a group, can be a bit more critical of others than is helpful. Both of those situations are called 'Perfectionism.'
Basically, being gifted, as you certianly are by your scores, is about being smart enough to notice what could be better, and being intense enough that our vision is very vivid. The difference between reality and our vivid vision can be very dissapointing, and lots of us give up, or drive those around us crazy with our drive, or both! ((Humor Alert)) Sounds like for your family the answer is D: All of the Above.
So what does 'gifted' mean, afterall?
Did you know that they isn't any definition that all the experts agree on?
My favorite definition is 'having special educational needs that won't often be met in the regular classroom.' In my definition, a kid from a really poor area, who scores 'just barely gifted' might have more need for school modification than a gifted kid who goes to a special school for gifted kids, or lives in certian neighborhoods where companies that need lots to employ supersmart scientists to work at their location.
I tease my DH that his definition of Gifted is 'Anyone Smarter than me, but I'm not gifted.' I don't agree, and I remind him that his gifted friends must not have hung out with him out of charity.
Another definition of gifted talks about what society values and what a person's strengths are. Apparently your strength is thinking in philosophical and psychological ways, and in the mini-culture of your family that isn't valued. My guess is that as you were growing up in school that your strenghts weren't appreciated by the teachers either. If you put yourself in their shoes,you can see why they cringe when my son starts asking questions that none of the other children could possibly understand, and resent the 'time and space' he took up in elementary school. If you are a Trek fan, you will forgive me for asking if the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.
Of course, In my vision there is no true conflict between anyone's true needs, and my vision is so vivid that I live inside it most of the time.
So, if you are still with me, read around here and see if it reminds you of you. One of the best definitions of Gifted is that it is an 'Identity Group,' like being African American, or Gay. We have a set of shared experiences that is rooted in the predictable conflicts between our hardware, and the culture's software. Of course we are all unique, and some say that highly gifted people (which you might be - the test you took isn't sensitive enought to tell at your age) are the most diverse group of people, but there are some basic societal problems for which we are the 'canaries in the coalmine.'
Post more, what are your goals are? your dreams for your future? Are you 'diagnoses OCD' or 'self-diagnosed?' What are your favorite books? What feeds your soul?
Hey, that was fun!
Grinity
