Wow. What an incredible outpouring of thoughtful advice. I spent quite a bit of time contemplating our situation, and considering the experiences of others here along with some wonderfully insightful private messages, I'm feeling more confident about pushing forward. I think.
I took my son out for dinner last night and brushed gently on these topics amidst his excitement about various goings on. After all, he IS kind of the focus in all this, right?
One underlying concern for me is that he is happy where he is. He's not clamoring for a change one way or the other, and really hasn't given it much thought (that he's shared, anyhow).
He is very pleased with the ability to now work at his own pace in math, even though it will be more rigorous than following the classroom curriculum. And "reading" has always worked this way (self-paced) at his school, so that was nothing new to him.
We also reviewed his language arts book today and I asked if he'd like to do this on his own (@ school, like math) and he seemed interested, although probably didn't really give a whit either way. (I mean, seriously, WHO CARES about predicates, right?)
Science, though, is the one subject that is really near & dear to his heart. And he's already mentioned -- on his own -- that he's not happy doing everything over again this year. So that's one area I've definitely got to explore.
We both laughed about spelling... he got another 100% on his recent pre-test. I asked him if he'd like harder lists and he joked that they'd have to get out the high-school list before he'd be scared. But he said he also likes the "easy A+" each week. (Funny, but also a troubling sign in my book. I don't want him addicted to the "easy A+" in school.)
-- -- -- --
We don't allow the "B-Word" in our house, as it is always accompanied by long, drawn-out whining, "I'm soooooo booooooooored!!!" And we've had the talk in relation to school work since he was young, explaining that he will often be asked to do things that he already knows how to do, and that he will often finish ahead of the other students -- AND -- that he's not allowed to complain about it, as this is disrespectful to the teacher. (And it's not particularly polite to the other students, either.) He's allowed to ask for other work/projects when he's done, or he can ask to read -- he just can't whine to his teacher or make a big production out of it.
With that said, the teacher pointed out to me, "Well he doesn't complain about the work being too easy!" Dang. So much for that exercise in discretion.
He did, however, use the "b-word" for the first time a week or so ago, before he shifted to his own math program. The teacher asked him directly if he had a problem with his math worksheet (because DS was goofing around) and DS answered honestly, "It's boring."
-- -- -- --
It'd be so easy to plant all these thoughts in his head -- or to underscore & support those he may already harbor -- but so far, he's not soured about the level of his work. This leaves me in the difficult position of wanting/needing to request these various curriculum changes based largely on the fact that "I know what's best for my child."
I know the work is too easy for him. I know he's not exerting ANY effort (other than with handwriting) to get his grades. And I know that this is not a good thing.
But he doesn't really know any different. He doesn't come home complaining about how easy stuff is... or begging for harder work... or anything like that. And I don't want to let it get to that point before I make changes on his behalf. So I suppose I'm feeling a little guilty here, but yet I firmly believe it is my job. (I also put broccoli on his dinner plate -- not because he asks for it, but because I know it is good for him. Fair analogy?)
So when it comes around to skipping a grade, everything I've read says he's got to be on board with the whole idea. I say, however, that at his age, it is more at my discretion (& the school's) than his. If I ask him, "Ya wanna skip to 5th?" he'll say "Heck NO!" But with no reason other than he doesn't really like change when the change comes from his evil father. But if it (ostensibly) comes from the school as, "We'd like you to start in 5th grade this winter," he'd be fine with it, and would have no problems.
I saw this repeated time & time again in his classroom. If I were to suggest that he write five paragraphs instead of the two or three assigned by his teacher each week, he'd kill me in my sleep. But when the challenge comes from his teacher, he's all over it and surpasses expectations EVERY TIME. This same scenario has played out so many times, it's silly. If Dad requests X, he's the devil; if the teacher asks for the same -- AWESOME!
-- -- -- --
Gratified3 makes some superb comments regarding the social/emotional/practical aspects of skipping that really take me back in my own thinking by several steps. Is grade placement the issue? Or is it really the pacing -- irrespective of grade?
He could skip to 5th... and within a couple/few months, he'll be back in the same pickle. Spelling/reading/language arts still wouldn't be anywhere close to his abilities and he'll still be ready for pre-algebra by February at the latest. It'd be no different in 6th: same academic issues, just with much bigger kids.
Do I want to send an 8yo to 7th grade? Or 10th? I'd have to say no. Not without his explicit involvement and agreement -- that's just too much broccoli for me to put on his plate without him asking.
Hmmmm. Gotta make some more calls. A big thanks to all for helping me focus my thoughts.
