We discussed his academic achievement and progress thus far. All of this was on target for year 3 and to them going well.
Is he chronologically in year 3 or did he grade skip? In either case (but especially the former) it would be important to find out what they mean by "fine". Does it mean that he is doing all of the year 3 work at a proficient level, or that he is making measurable academic growth in all of his academics?
If he DID do a grade skip, are they finding his behavior immature compared to other 7 year old boys, or compared to older students that he is placed with for academics?
he is displaying is not naughty, aggressive but general silliness, this is at times disrupting the other children. Their main concern is it is a CHANGE in behaviour, not the actual behaviour.
I don't understand this. If the behavior is not concerning (and frankly, what you've described sounds fairly typical for the 7 year old boys that I know) then I'm not sure why they are concerned. All children change. Part of being in school is learning to negotiate the social situation, and the kids I see usually "try on" a few ways of getting positive peer attention until they find something that works. My guess is that if he's being silly, there are a host of kids ready to giggle and laugh in response.
From what you've shared, I'm seeing contradictions in what they are telling you (it's not the behavior that's a problem; they weren't feeling a rush to tell you vs. they need a big plan to address the behavior).
Personally, I would be leery of any plan in which places responsibility for behavior AT school on you as the parent. That is a very convenient(and arrogant) conclusion to draw. I find it particularly concerning that they are dissuading you from asking him about his day. In fact, I find that a little alarming. If we don't check in with our children and respond to their ups and downs regularly, then when a big "down" occurs, it may not occur to our children that we the parents are the place to bring the problem.
Could you go back to them and ask them to give you examples of the things that have happened that have lead them to their conclusions? If they are able to present compelling evidence that he feels pressured, that's one thing (and often one that reflects more on temperament than on parenting). If they are assuming the pressure piece just "because"....well, that's something else entirely.
