That sounds very upsetting. Sounds as though he's got into a way of looking at the world in turns of winning and losing, punishment and reward, and not had a chance to benefit from friendly cooperation much at the old school? I think in your place I'd hope that the new school would be a much better experience for him and I wouldn't rush into taking him to a professional right now, though I'd certainly do it if things didn't improve quickly. (I'd look for a psychotherapist, rather than talking to a pediatrician, unless you have a really excellent one.) My parenting style is very anti rewards and punishments of all kinds: I've bought into the Kohn-ish view that extrinsic motivation (wanting a reward, fearing a punishment) is generally harmful to developing intrinsic motivation (understanding that something is worth doing and doing it for its own sake) so we try to avoid it except in very special circumstances. I think of it in terms of helping someone to learn to hill walk: you can push or pull them up a slope for a short way, and you might do it for example if there's one too-steep bit in the middle of a long walk, but that's not what helps them have the strength to climb it for themselves, and in fact expecting to be pushed or pulled gets in the way of developing that. If that's compatible with your parenting philosophy, I wonder whether some chats about what it is to be a learner and what school is for and what parents' jobs are in helping their children grow up, in those terms, might help?
