In terms of letters of recommendations, I felt out the two people a little before I asked them. For example, one of the recs came from a gifted summer program teacher who knew she was grade accelerated even within the gifted program. She had noticed and mentioned how quickly DD picked up the science concepts. When I approched her, I quoted back some of what she said and added: "Would you say this is unusual for a seven year old? When she said: "Absolutely, a lot of my junior high students still don't get it" I knew that she would be a good person to ask, because she seemed to believe that DD was operating several years above grade level. I think it's important to avoid attempting to influence what the person writes in the rec, but asking good questions can determine whether or not the person writing the rec really *gets* it.
Good luck,
Neato
