Bless your heart, trout!
I can relate.
I won't begin to recount all the hoops we've had to jump through in order to get close to a good program for next year -- and that is after wasting 4 public school years with not a bit of differentiated at-level work. And this is with consistent, repeated 99.9% scores in IQ and ACH, total and some broad areas / indices as well. After the WJ-III 180 ACH Total at almost 6 years, I thought we were finally getting somewhere, but then had to switch schools, and we started all over again.
The delay tactics are common.
To follow up on Hoagie's Ridiculous Things ... last year, 2'nd grade, the issue was that my son had some gaps in his learning: he "lacked dictionary concepts." Yep, that's right. So after about 5 minutes at home, dissecting the various parts of a dictionary entry, I figured we were good to go -- go to middle school that is :-) Unfortunately, they thought differently. More hoops. More delays.
I have a long history advocating (pretty successfully) for my son's special need (he is a 2E kid), so I am somewhat inured to the stress of the fight. Nothing a school district or bureaucratic agency could throw at me would surprise me at this point.
And I'm sure this is the same as at a private school as well, though I have no experience there.
Please be encouraged that you can and will meet your daughter's need. It may not come easily, but it is entirely possible ... though perhaps not in the way you think it will play out. After all, she is very young. You have a long path in front of you :-)
I always have found that if I give a lot of forethought (and prepare a list) of what my son needs in a program, and what that program should look like (and prepare a detailed description), I am a better advocate for him. In other words, I go into every meeting with a clear mind as to what I want for him. A vision of what I want for him. If I can communicate that vision clearly, and with enthusiasm, we ultimately prevail.
My best wishes to you!
