I understand your concern. Frankly, I worry a lot more about the easygoing, people-pleaser kid than I do about the one who tells you something is wrong or the one who gets in trouble when bored. There can be a lot of suffering going on under the surface. I was actually very relieved when DS7 voiced his concerns about school and even when he acted out. I worried that he would just bear it with a smile no matter how bad it was for him, so his acting out was preferable to me.
I don't think happiness is enough if your child is not learning anything (except that he can coast through life...). I know others will disagree, but I think school is supposed to be about education. If all he's learning are bad habits, then I think you have to change something.
Does the social stuff matter? Yes, but there's social stuff when you homeschool, too, so I don't think that's as big a factor as people make it out to be unless you would have no access to group activities with other kids. I know VERY few families in this situation. Even if there's no homeschooling group available, there's Scouting, religious groups, art and music classes or ensembles, etc.
Is there a reason you want to keep DS5 in school? I mean, if it would be more convenient for you to homeschool them both, if DS5 is expressing concern about how little he's learning at school, and if your gut is telling you to do something (as it seems to be doing), then why not pull him out, too?
I say this as someone who is currently expecting to have one child in public school and another who is homeschooled, so I'm not opposed to that arrangement in any way. But I feel like you're asking for permission to pull your DS5 out. I think you have it!
