Hi GreenBug!
What a pleasure to hear your mind!
I get that you would like your boy to interact better with groups, but I disagree that a school is better equipt to teach this lesson than you are. Your son has his own preferences, and I do encourage you to broaden his horizons, but I discourage you to "throw him in the water to learn how to swim." I remember looking to teachers for "advanced expertise" in helping "round out" my child, but was saddend to find that so many folks have so many misconceptions of our population of children, that their wisdom and experience can lead them to confidently do damage.
It's not that some teachers haven't been wonderful. But there were many many confident sounding people who mislead us severely, and mistreated our son. I would go for the thoughtful, curious, open-minded folks wherever possible.
Also, sometimes I wonder if we don't end up "pushing" in an anxious way our kids to be more social, they way other parents use academic flashcards. As an ex-gifted child myself, I was anxious about my son's ability to fit in, and focused on it.
When it came to academics, a was able to relaxedly invite my son to follow my mind, and just as relaxedly let go when the interest wasn't there, trusting that it would develop in it's own time. Quite a contrast to my approach towards "socialization." Remember the Rodney Dangerfield joke about the parent's tying meat around the kid's neck so that the dogs would play with him? LOL! Quite a difference.
What if you could be completely confident that if you introduce you son to enough social situations, relaxedly enough, that, when he was ready, that he would partake at his own speed? So what if other kids develop along one common path - you already know that your child is different.
Trinity,
Thanks for your thoughtful remarks. The concern about the academic shortchanging the social comes from my perception that Montessori education emphasizes independent learning. Perhaps I am mistakenly equating independence with isolation. We just don't want our son to grow up in an "ivory tower". Also, he is averse to structured group activities involving other children, and We'd like to see that change. In any case, the concern doesn't stem from a belief that he will get worn out from the intellectual stimulation.
