you don't want the HS/college aged kid just being "relaxed" all of the time. Just my opinion...
I guess my question here would be, why not? Didn't the kid already "earn" downtime by all the work in school/homework? And especially as they get into high school, it seems this would be even more pressing. Sure, you want your child to find passions. But if it doesn't come from within, if it's just "activities" for the sake of activities, it's really just more obligation, not fun, right? And then doesn't that perpetuate the lack of opportunity to FIND the kid's true interests?
Caveat - I have an 8-year old, not a teenager. So I know nothing. Plus, DS does not like organized activities. He is uncomfortable in large groups with other children. If you add in noise or chaos, it's impossible for him to sustain absent profound interest. So activities I impose (e.g., swim lessons, because that's a safety issue) are really only successful once I find a 1:1 teaching setting.
In addition, since I work at a job outside the home, DS has after-school care. Like MsFriz, I'm very grateful for this because the center is run by an awesome teacher, and there is lots of outside and free play. In the summers, he has an all-day sort of camp with this same teacher. This is great for him because it gives him a platform to have fun while working on social interaction skills with kids. But it is totally exhausting for him.
My thinking is that a kid who works all day in school has already had a ton of "activities" for the day. If there is something they want to do and it fits a family's schedule and budget, I would say go for it. But I wouldn't say a kid who works all day in school and keeps up in homework is doing nothing.
I really don't know the right balance and my hard-headed child won't "enjoy" things if they weren't his idea, anyway. So probably I'm just woofing here. YMMV. No - it will almost certainly vary!
