Debbie:

It's great that you've made such a commitment to understand your DS inside and out - Ruf is expensive. As I think she'd be the first to say, you've got a magnificent challenge (paired with magnificent opportunity) in really challenging such an able child to realize his full potential.

FWIW, I'd be feeling exactly the same emotions you've expressed in your place. But it seems as though your hearts are in the right place, and you clearly are focusing on his needs, so I personally would give excellent odds that you will do right by him, even if every step along the way is not perfect. Take a deep breath and pat yourself on the back for all you've done so far.

Ian