Originally Posted by Tigerle
Some Kids need the structure early (my oldest did), even though the socio emotional maturity wasn't there and the academic demands were way below his level - play based just made him anxious and show even less maturity than he had. When he was grouped with the older kids, he could adapt to a point. We let him enter K early - he would have been old for grade anyway.
Some kids enjoy the play based environment (DD5 currently still does) and would wilt in an environment that is not developmentally appropriate (as in socio emotional maturity requirements being too strenuous) but may still not be academically appropriate (as in material still being stultifyingly easy).

Yes, I can definitely imagine your situation, and in another school, we would probably be looking at a different outcome. The curriculum is high level to begin with, and the fellow students are generally bright. Plus, the teachers are amazingly engaged. We're lucky at the moment.

I'm glad it's worked out well for your older son!

Originally Posted by Tigerle
For DD, a skip now might be just right academically, but she is already young for grade. For her, we may have to opt for developmentally appropriate and screw academics for as long as we can.
I'd make sure that the grade skip option stays on the table.

It's a difficult trade-off for academics versus maturity. DS5 is old for his year, so perhaps we'll be lucky and get him moved up when we'd like without too much fuss. I don't want to just let it go if he's as much of an outlier as it seems.

With regards to your young-in-year daughter, my DH was grade-skipped as a child, also young for his year (May birthday with August cutoff). Still, aside from some typical bumps along the way, it was a great choice for him. He graduated at 17 as valedictorian and at 26 with a STEM doctorate.

Hopefully, you'll find a better fit in a year or two as the maturity gap closes.