I must admit that while the concept of the end game was not ignored in the decision to accelerate DD, it was never the focus. Each acceleration was based on providing an appropriate education and trying to prevent the negative consequences of not having challenge and a sense of achievement at school. That lack of challenge sends some really negative messages to our DD and makes her feel depressed and worthless. I think the latter comes from there being no point or value to how you are spending your day if you are not learning and not moving ahead. It was those immediate issues that drove acceleration.
However, DD 14 is now entering her last year of high school and the end game is upon us. First of all she is very happy with her school placement and the latest accleration saw her absolutely blossom, almost overnight. We had such worries about yet another year group change, the older kids getting their licenses, friendships and relationships etc etc. DD had no such concerns. She isn't worried about driving or not, she isn't concerned about relationships and she has friendships spanning every year group. The younger kids think she is a star and she has become a really positive role model for them which she is surprised and pleased by. It makes her feel as though she has a lot to offer from an informal mentorship position and it is really cool to see her grow into that. She might not have had that if she stayed with her year group as she is quiet and reserved and never sort attention of that kind or leadership even though she does have much to offer.
Academically she has taken off especially in STEM but she also takes the harder English classes even though her literal brain struggles more in this area. She doesn't like subjective works as she knows that the teachers have an expectation of sorts of what they think is the right answer and she is concerned about meeting that when she doesn't always agree. It is good for her to find ways to approach that problem and develop skills of critical analysis.
What next after school? In many states of Australia and the US there are laws about minors remaining in full time study or work until age 17 or 18. It is hard to know how that applies to someone who has completed high school as that is really what the law intends. DD has university courses in mind. She will apply and then we will see. It is complex as my husband has a job in the States for three years. If DD wants she may attend University there, or stay with relatives here or do online courses. She has so many interests that she is already planning more than one degree. Exactly as Mairaux points out, she has bought time to allow her to do that easily.
In many ways acceleration is particularly helpful to girls who can establish a career or complete many levels of education before having a family if that is what they choose. I have felt and seen the challenges that juggling both can have and any deconfliction that can reduce that stress is helpful.
Females are underrepresented in STEM for lots of reasons. Accelerating in those areas has given DD confidence that has inoculated her against some of the reasons girls drop out. The highest level math class has far more girls than boys, despite the year being 75% male because there are three accelerated girls in the class. It is a really powerful message for girls in the school generally and that is an outcome we did not anticipate.
Not everyone has a positive story of acceleration because it is a very individual process. It is often a battle for parents, it has been for us, there are unknowns that make it challenging, it can be seen negatively by other parents, teachers and students and it doesn't always work. We have battled teachers who just don't understand and have ranged from hostile to unhelpful. Other parents can be weirded out but generally they have seen the positive effect on DD and she is a nice normal kid to them so it's less of an issue.
The students haven't ever been a problem. They have been wonderful in fact and I give them all praise for being supportive and kind to DD. So much more than we could have hoped for. It is unlikely DD will be going to end of year parties with them but that isn't her scene and she is much more likely to celebrate in a low key way. That is her personality as much as anything.
At the end of the day our experience is just our experience. I simply say that it has been hard work but worth it. I have stood squarely in your shoes and I totally understand your concerns. DD was very hesitant about the last acceleration until it happened because she couldn't visualize how it would look and feel. She says how glad she is every week that she did it. So I encourage you to explore all options, continually monitor, realise that plans can be undone and can be changed if needed. Stay flexible in your thinking and your decision making. and be positive. As much as there is a lot that is hard and scary raising our kids, there is a lot of joy and lovely surprises too.
