Thanks so much for all your responses and support. I am feeling much better today. I spoke to DD's teacher again, and we have decided DD will remain in K, but they will not focus too much on her benchmarks or push her too hard. Her opinion is that DD is not developmentally ready yet for demands of the K curriculum. She says much of what used to be done in K is now done in preschool, and the K curriculum is quite demanding. They will help her to enjoy the year, and be really positive about what she is getting done. If she makes a developmental leap and reading and writing click for her before the end of the year, great, she will go on to year 1 next year. But if not, she will repeat K where her teacher thinks she will be top of the class.
I had misunderstood her teacher the other day, I had thought she was saying she wanted to push DD through to year 1 because she saw potential, she actually meant she DIDN'T want to push her through because she sees potential. She doesn't want DD's desire to learn to be crushed because she is struggling. She wants her to excel. She said they have plenty of ways to extend her next year if she does repeat and then becomes a very strong student, such as sessions with the gifted and talented teacher and working on above level material.
This school is new for us this year. At the school my DS attended last year, I struggled to get the academic challenge that he needed, and I think that influenced my thinking on it being better for DD to be young for her year if she turns out to be a strong student. But this school seems much better at assessing students and ensuring appropriate academics ( in fairness to last years school, they didn't have nearly as many teachers and staff at their disposal), so she should be challenged no matter which year she ends up in.
I know their are mixed views in repeating, but DD could have waited to start until next year, so I guess it would be more like undoing a mistake and starting her too young instead of making her struggle for years as a result of it.
It will be helpful to have the results of next months testing too!
