When I took my son out of his IU program because he was being bullied terribly there, the IU retaliated and reported his regular preschool for possible child abuse and the regular school had to ask my son to leave for liability reasons.
I never said a single negative thing about my sons situation to the IU, just that I was not comfortable sending him to a program he was terrified to attend and where he was coming home with bruises and bite marks daily, not to mention the language he was picking up. I never threatened them or made a fuss about him being hurt. I never made an issue of them not ever writing a single incident report. I just quietly requested that they remove my son from the program. They did not take it well.
Never underestimate the general nastiness of the people associated with public schools. Some of them seem to take everything as a personal insult and they seem to really believe that their programs are the absolute best. The best interests of a child don't seem to factor in at all. We are currently homeschooling thanks to the IU, ironically precisely the thing they did not want me doing from the beginning.
So my experience says tread carefully. Just being polite isn't always enough. I suggest telling them that your child made the choice and that, while you disagree, you respect him and will honor his decision. At least that way they can't put it all on you and feel that you have insulted their service or personnel.
