22B,
In pre-school, when we first got data showing that DS was gifted but hyper-sensitive, I thought "great, now I'll have something for these excellent teachers. Surely it will feel rewarding to them to use this data to help him blossom." Not so much. The general response was - if he's this smart he ought to be able to figure out how to work within our system. Ummm - he's 3 years old?
When we got to our highly regarded public elementary, we thought - Ah now we'll get somewhere. This school has professionals on staff who are particularly trained to understand this stuff. Surely they've been down this path before. The seasoned, educated response - over and over in multiples variations: (a) You should talk to him about this. (b) Have you tried sticker charts?
Brilliant!! I would never have thought of either of those ideas. Wow - I've never read a single parenting book AT ALL. I thought I should just give him candy, turn on the TV and talk to my sis on the phone about my troubles while he tears up the living room.
Oh wait - actually we talk to him every day about how to work things out in school. We abandoned sticker charts years ago because they do not work. Did you read the "information sheet" I provided where I already explained that? Where I described what helps and what makes things worse? No you didn't bother, did you. And you're not going to now, are you? And you don't want to hear about the painstaking work we've done to try to make his life better AND YOURS. You just want to keep banging him on the head, and lopping off parts, until he fits into the box you want him in.
I don't think these are bad folks. Heck, my Mom is a retired public school teacher. I can recognize that there are people in these systems who could apply skills, who seem to want to care, who would appear to find it rewarding to help. But ... something ... just saps it all away. And the meetings seem worse than useless no matter how much I try to apply honey, not vinegar.
Sigh. But I'm going to keep trying!
Sue
