I would expect that PG/EG participants in math competitions find themselves up against other PG/EG participants in short order, at which point the number hours of study and practice become a significant determining factor in success. Once "Who wants it more?" is a major part of the activity, it becomes very easy for someone to say, "Not me," or, "Eh... I want it, but not that badly."
Competitions can be fun and healthy, but striving for the very highest levels is often unhealthy. Training at any one thing comes with real opportunity costs as it crowds out other healthy activities, and the individual has to be willing to pay those costs.
I agree.
Some parents invest without understanding that the CHILD at the center of the activity may not be constitutionally well-suited to elite competition in the first place.
Searching for Bobby Fischer/Innocent Moves is an instructive way to spend a couple hours for
any parent of an HG child. IMHO.
I suspect, in fact, that the story of Josh Waitzkin's early years (dramatized and told in the film) probably only REALLY resonates with parents like us. Other parents probably see Amy Chua TigerParenting when they look at kids like Josh. Or, for that matter, most of the kids around here.
Jon, I would offer that I
hope that my DD can avoid that existential conundrum by placing
herself and her own self-reflections firmly at the center of her self-worth and self-image-- and not the external indicators of self-worth such as trophies, ribbons, awards, and "first place" experiences... hopefully not even the value judgments of those around her. Understanding the key to one's own self-worth is crucial, in my experience. Best to tie it to something that is a locus of your OWN control, as Dude's post indirectly implies.
Being "the best at ______" is no way to have a healthy sense of self-worth, because you're ultimately at the mercy of your life circumstances. If you're a van Cliburn winner at 20yo, what happens if you're in an auto accident the next day that robs you of the use of both hands, hmm?
"Helping others" or "enjoying a challenge" or even "being good at ____" is far, far better. But it can't be FORCED externally-- that is, it has to be authentic, and it has to be something that is intrinsically of value to the individual. I think part of it is simply living in a way that aligns with one's internal values-- that is, devoting the
appropriate amount of effort/attention to those things that one finds have intrinsic worth, and letting the results happen as they will, more or less.
I think that parents err when they assume that ALL children are motivated by "winning" to begin with. Those that are probably don't need any more encouragement-- for the reasons nicely laid out by Jon.
