Any changes in her perception of herself as a result of all that is going on?
-If anything, she thinks that she is more stupid. She has been told how “fast” her brain is, yet she is incredibly disorganized, and she is very aware of that. She constantly forgets her homework or her lunchbox.
DD8 can be VERY emotional and dramatic at home, but she has always been rather intense.
-Yes, our daughter has always been more on the glass half empty side. Now she is just more negative.
Does your daughter know why she is being tested?
Wanted to add the possibility that now that everything isn't super easy maybe she is scared she isn't as smart as she/you/teacher/classmates/etc think she is.
-I have talked about why she is being tested. The psychologist today talked to her about it as well. It’s hard to know what DD thinks about it; she is very averse to discussing anything about her feelings. Her go to phrase is “I don’t know.” She does not think that she is smart. She constantly compares herself to her sister. Constantly. DD10 is perfect according to DD9. That is where most of her anger is directed.
She is 9 - does she have any reasons she given you as to why she seems more upset?
What you need to do is talk with your daughter when she isn't angry and upset.
-She can’t tell me why she is more angry than normal. When I try to talk when she is not angry, I can’t get much out of her. She has always been a tough nut to figure out!! Maybe I ought to write her a note. My husband and I used to do that when we were mad at each other. I can write my questions to her and see if she will answer them.
You all have given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate it.