We had some interaction with the principal this year and made a couple of missteps (on both sides, I would say). I am researching district policy, but trying to do so in a way that will not give the appearance of going around her. If it comes to a confrontation, of course, even if we win, we lose, as the atmosphere will be spoiled.

I expect a month or two of in-school experience, plus some hard data and careful argumentation is our best shot. The challenge to us will be to coach our DS through the initial period, while pushing back against complacency from the school's side. Our DS lacks the 'respect for authority' gene (perhaps our fault), but we may be able to teach him at least to fake it on occasion. In any event, his emotional versatility is growing now with some speed, and who knows what two more months will bring?

Thanks again for the interest from all sides. It is a huge relief to be able to get views about such things from adults outside the immediate family.