I agree that going in with an attitude of wanting to understand the grading system is the way to go. I have done this before with really good results, the teacher was very open to sharing.
For perspective, these grades in Elementary school may not be that important to your child's overall school/college/life experience. There definitely is fair/not fair, etc, but when building rapport with a teacher and school, it might not be the battle you want to choose.
I have heard through the grapevine that our school's teachers are NOT supposed to give out 4's unless there is clear evidence that a 4 is deserved. Someone above them gives this pressure not to give the high grades. This means that most children who are doing very well in school only get 3's. Now, many of our academically talented children may deserve the 4, but the teacher may not see evidence of that (because the tests they have don't show anything above what they would grade as a 3, etc)...
I agree with your opinion that the behavior grades may belong in a different section than academic skills, but I still recommend going in with a good attitude. You may find that just by working with the teacher, s/he will get to know your child better and be able to give higher grades next term.
Good luck with your meeting!
