it took me a while, too - it was hard to separate what was simply an immature coping strategy from something that needs specific intervention, so i really hear you on that.
i was really hoping this behaviour would simply melt away, like all the other vestiges of last year's dreadful school experience (the depression/the anxiety/the suicidal thoughts) but it's the lone holdout. the light went on for me when DD articulated that she feels it's an effective strategy: so unless we find something to substitute for it... it's here to stay. (and that is NOT an option!)