It sounds like, at this point, you really don't know what your ds' IQ is - and that's ok. Each evaluation, whether it yields what you expected or not, is simply more data. You look at the data, think about it, analyze it based on what you know about your son, use what you can and then file the rest away but remember it, just in case farther along in your journey something suddenly becomes obvious that relates back to what was seen at this eval. Parenting 2e kids is *truly* a journey - you will find answers and understanding, but it's usually over time.
FWIW, I think there's most likely a lot of good data in the eval you've just had. I'd shift my focus off of wondering what your ds' IQ is and looking for clues that might be hints as to the struggles he's had. Something sent you in for testing - so look at what you learned in that context. Forget worrying about whether or not you're seeing gifted quirks at the moment. The psych suggested he might have ADHD - this testing was inconclusive, but learn what you can about ADHD and watch over time to see what fits and what doesn't fit your ds. The psych saw some types of patterns in the test scores that make her suspect there's a possibility of LD, but your ds is still very young and yes, he wasn't at his "best" while testing, so perhaps an LD will show up later, perhaps not. The key is - if you see other signs o LD, remember that what you see might really be an LD and don't just automatically assume it's sensory or a gifted quirk etc. You have a red flag - it might be nothing, but it also might be something and only time and observing your ds as he gets older and moves into 1st grade and beyond will you really have the opportunity to know for certain.
Also, fwiw, my 2nd 2e child (10 years old) test all over the place. We have high IQ tests and very average IQ tests. She has a disability that impacts her ability to read, yet there are days when she tests light-years ahead of grade level in reading. It's *not* typically easy to test and assess 2e kids.
I'm also curious - you've asked "average, low average, very below average?" but haven't mentioned actual scores. Were there subtests that were *way* below average? Others that were average? Was there scatter? Whether or not your ds is highly gifted, I'd want (as a parent) to know more detail about the subtest scores and try to determine which were given before lunch when it sounds like he was more compliant with the testing. If you have really really low scores on any subtest during the time he seemed to be compliant, I'd really think it through - is there a possibility that the score reflects his abilities at this point in time and there's an issue to be addressed? I ask that because my sensory-seeking dd looked like she was extremely hyperactive when she was your ds' age, and she had an *incredibly* low score on one of the WISC subtests - and it turns out - the reason was her eyes weren't focusing together and she was either having double-vision or her brain was shutting off one eye when she tried to use them together, which in turn severely limited peripheral vision. So yes, she had this hugely low score - but it didn't mean she wasn't smart, it meant she couldn't see. And once she'd had vision therapy.. quite a bit of her hyperactive behavior also disappeared as well as some of her sensory seeking behaviors - because they were driven by an unrelated challenge, her vision. So anyway, just in the event you see a subtest score or set of scores that look really really low- don't automatically assume it was all non-compliance with the test. Think it through - is there a possibility it might relate to something you've noticed with your ds, and if so, try to dig a bit deeper into what it might mean.
He does have distraction issues but he learns things very rapidly.
Keep in mind that kids with LDs and other types of challenges can and do learn things quickly and maybe very eager students. Sometimes they are also quite capable of covering up their challenge because of strengths in other areas. It's not always (or often, imo) easy to look at any one child and see obviously that there is a reading or writing or whatever challenge.
She doesn't even consider his lack of desire to cooperate an issue!
Is it possible that he actually did cooperate, so she didn't see an issue with cooperating?
They say that children score between 5-10 points on IQ tests of parents and husband and I were both on the higher to much higher end academically. In no way do we believe this is an accurate representation of our child. Now what?
Your ds still has many years of school left to get to that "higher end" of academics. Maybe he will, maybe he won't - but to be sure he gets to where he is meant to be, the first thing to do is to help him learn how to manage his behaviors so that he's successful in school in the early years. The first key to "managing" behaviors is to understand what's driving them. You've started heading down that path to understanding, and you'll get there. It just won't likely be as quick as you'd hoped - but you absolutely will get there if you just hang with it, listen to all the evals, use what makes sense, keep the other in the back of your mind, and move forward.
Best wishes,
polarbear
