Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy No differentiation--what do you tell your child?

If HowlerKarma's response was a multiple choice question, I would pick e) all of the above. We've done all of these approaches. Homeschooling is the best option for meeting a child's academic needs, but there is a huge time cost for the parental unit who does the teaching. Plus, there can be other tradeoffs, like lack of interaction with other kids.

This year, I'm afterschooling my two younger kids in math. I did this with my eldest for many years. They both hate the school math program so much, the afterschooling is actually a relief for them. They have the same math teacher and there is a long thread about her on this forum (search for my name in the advanced search box and look for "advice needed" "very difficult teacher" ~1-2 months ago).

My kids are a bit older than yours (9 and 11). I've told them the truth, which is that the teacher is wrong in certain ways. In fact, before I told them, they knew something wasn't right and hearing it said out loud by someone they trust has been a huge help for them. One of them was blaming himself for having trouble in her class and both were losing ground mathematically. I also tell them to be respectful of the teacher and to get through her class as best they can. I've made this clear to them.

If your child is at a public school, the teacher is probably stressed about NCLB and test scores, which is what's driving her focus on the low achievers.

With a younger child, one possibility might be to tell him that the teacher has a lot of kids in her class and she's doing her best. Personally, even if I don't tell my kids the whole truth, I make sure I tell them something that isn't contradictory. So in this case, maybe (maybe) something along the lines of "teacher has to pay more attention to the kids who are having trouble. All the other teachers in America have to do the same thing." (This is just an idea to help you think.)

I'm very skeptical about teachers at this point. Your son's teacher knows that some of the kids in her class aren't learning from those flash cards. While NCLB may force teachers to pay more attention to struggling students, it doesn't forbid them from giving advanced students a different set of flashcards. She presumably knows this and chooses to do what she does for her own reasons. Maybe you could volunteer to give the advanced students harder work/different flash cards, and maybe she'd think that's a great idea. But don't be surprised if she doesn't. I don't know why. Maybe she doesn't want to have kids working at different levels. Who knows? I just know that this is how these things work.

The fundamental philosophies of education in this country are broken, and this problem drives everything else. Smart people simply do not generally go into K-8 teaching, and most of the few that do leave. Their SAT, GRE and (especially) Miller Analogies scores back up this statement. One result is situations that are damaging for bright kids. High school teachers are better, but the high schools run on the same broken system.