I typed up all the writing done by my DD's classmates (all GT, 98th-99th%) in second grade. Your DD's sentence structure looks quite good for beginning of second grade, compared to that class as a whole. She would be near the top of the class in terms of complexity and vocabulary.
However, they were expected to write more than that. They had a weekly writing assignment and needed to produce perhaps twice what you pasted in. This was not supposed to take a really long time--I think the teacher thought it would take half an hour or something. If that took your DD a really long time and a lot of angst, then I would say there may be a concern, but I don't at all see a problem with the actual thoughts expressed.
(Again, keep in mind that this was NOT a typical second grade.)
Some kids did write pages (my DD was one). Some had terrible handwriting and some had beautiful handwriting.
