I am indeed working to help him feel comforted in a sometimes horrifying world, but man, this is my ds who first looks at things with a negative slant. It takes a LOT to get him to believe that positive thinking has real consequences.
it really, really does. it's such a tough thing - i've been fighting it for over 10 years with my husband, and it's slow going. i think i'm having an easier time with DD5 because she's so little i can guide her more easily to nip the negative thinking in the bud. i think it's working, because the other day she came up with a theory of two (imaginary) monsters - she's got one in each hand, and they whisper things to her. one whispers useful, positive information that she can translate into action and the other one whispers stuff that stops her from going forward. her trick is to actively listen to what each one is saying, and then decide which one to listen to. it's pretty awesome, and since she came up with it herself, she's starting to use it independently. at most, all i have to do is cue her with "monsters!" and she's golden.
i just thought of something. i recently found a book for my husband that actually might be helpful for you. it's called "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. i only found it because i thought my husband might be getting sick of me rabbiting on and on about being able to change how you feel about difficult circumstances. this book pretty much nails it - and since it's not just
my annoying advice - i think it goes further with him!
you have all my empathy on this - it's such a tough one.
