Some kids pick these observations up on their own, and some benefit from direct teaching. My two cents...
1) Praise effort.
2) Show great effort yourself.
3) Be a role model for the positive and good feelings that come with effort and learning (which includes NOT knowing... then finding the information you need... then knowing). Point out that different people learn different things at different ages, depending upon the opportunities they have for exposure to different things. For example, kids in other countries may be bilingual in preschool, kids in the USA may begin learning world languages in middle school.
4) Have conversations about how good it felt to realize you personally did something incorrectly, thought deeply about it, learned and tried again... perseverance.
5) Ensure that kiddo knows there is nothing inherently bad about not knowing, being slow, or being wrong/incorrect. But there is something inherently negative in bragging, putting others down, not caring about others' feelings etc.
6) Let kiddo know he is loved even when he is slow, wrong/incorrect, or does not know something. Let him know that he is unconditionally loved for who he is inside. Point out your own foibles, have a great sense of humor about them, demonstrate quiet self-confidence that you know you are still lovable and loved despite imperfection. Apologize when appropriate.
7) Ask kiddo how he feels about things... possibly he has felt put down and no one noticed? Possibly he has observed someone do the things he is now doing... being overly competitive... showing poor sportsmanship?
8) Let kiddo know that he is smart but that is nothing to brag about (nor hide and be ashamed of)... his brain is just a certain way. On the other hand the CHOICES he makes are something he can be pleased with himself about, when those choices are aligned with the behaviors and values you are teaching. Make sure he knows that over time people will notice both his intelligence and his character, and ultimately his success may be derived more from his character than his intelligence.
9) Read stories and as you turn each page, discuss the characters, the choices made, the opportunities to do right/wrong, which characters would be good friends and why... what the characters might be thinking at each step along the way. At the end, discuss the moral of the story, the life lessons we can take with us to help guide us how to respond when we are in a similar situation. The story of the tortoise and the hare is one that comes to mind. Bibliotherapy!
10) Plant a garden... share the natural cycle of effort, care, patience, perseverance, and finally the results. While great soil and fertilizer may help yield great results, there are few shortcuts in gardening.
Again, just my 2 cents.
