I know what you mean about not wanting to be THAT parent. I have already started to feel like "THAT parent," but without my advocacy, things were starting to go downhill for both of my sons, and they are only in K. I had to step in and request testing from the GT advocate, even though they usually don't do testing until late first grade. One teacher seemed to appreciate that I was trying to help my son, and the other definitely did not, but I had to do what was best for my sons, not what would make the teachers like me.
This is our first year dealing with an elementary school, so I am certainly not an expert. Our school has a rule strictly prohibiting requests for particular teachers - they go so far as to say that they requests WILL NOT be passed along to the team doing student placement. However, they do allow letters to the principal if "the student has needs that may not be addressed by the normal process." We requested an GT evaluation for our twins in Feb, and they just did the testing yesterday, but I am hoping that we get the results in time for me to send a letter/request that the results be taken into account.
One K teacher has been giving one son "harder" worksheets, which has been great (although they are still too easy), but has told us that she cannot advocate for him in class placement because "they don't listen to to the teachers", while the other son's teacher doesn't offer that son differentiated worksheets, but said she would advocate for that son to get a teacher who could offer differentiated work next year.
At the very least, I would suggest contacting the school to request a teacher with certain qualities, but not naming one specific teacher.
