Honestly?
No.
There is no real way to counteract this belief, because even "can we give it a shot and see if it works?" is likely to be met with selection bias on the part of the (skeptical) observers.
We've run into this again and again and again over the years-- it's the primary reason why we've stuck with a schooling situation which is sometimes a lot less than ideal, in fact. When you live in a place with a lot of prepping/helicoptering parenting, and a lot of social status associated with "my kid is gifted" then this one is a no-win situation until your child is old enough to be placed by someone OTHER than a parent-- and in settings where placement is not done purely by age.
We gave up library programs when my DD was about 9 because of nonsense like this. We could not convince the organizers that DD would be fine with the other 6th-8th graders. All pressuring them did was make them more resistant and more convinced that they'd labeled us correctly from the start-- pushy parents.
They were concerned about the "social dynamic" of including her-- and more presumptuously, were concerned about "inappropriate content" in book club selections. Well. My feeling was that if it was inappropriate for my 9yo, then in all likelihood it was going to also be inappropriate for any number of 12yo's, too. She had read every single one of the middle-school book club selections... and was so sad that she still couldn't participate. I tried on a number of occasions to get them to make an exception... but they just wouldn't do it. I understand. If they did do it for us, because they'd be basing it not on the kind of hard data that school use for placement decisions, then they'd have to do it for others, too... and believe me, in this town, there WOULD be others, and they would not all be as well-prepared as my DD.
Still-- there was a patronizing quality about it that still sticks in my craw.
My tip? If your child is enrolled in ANY kind of formal educational setting and has been accelerated, that gives you the best leverage. Because then your child isn't
"five." He's "a third grader."
