You two both made me feel SO MUCH better!! My sis didn't say DD was too sensitive or I was babying her until AFTER I told her we are DONE and DD is not allowed in our home anymore. Then the response was that niece is fine and normal, and DD is sensitive and a baby. That right there is a DEAL-BREAKER for me!! But I still have that stupid oldest child, adult child of an alcoholic tendency to want to FIX everything and have everyone be happy. When I told DD that her cousin would not be coming here any more and that when we are at grandparents' house (a few times a year) there would not be any sleepovers with cousins, and that I would do there what I do here, which is listen from the next room (on the baby monitor if necessary) and DD's reactions was "Good. I don't want to play with her anyway because she never lets me have fun." She is sad because "now who will help my cousins, Mommy?" and because she would like nothing better than to have them be best friends, but I am slowly teaching her that friends do not behave like this.
And y'all are right too, about my letting that garbage happen is teaching DD to "take it" at school or on the bus or other places.
I'm starting to feel a little better....
