Hi Jaytee,
(Typing on a mobile device, apologies in advance for any resulting odd wording!)
I struggle with this myself with dd7, who is hg+ but not passionately academic. I often wonder much I should push given she's just not into it. The conclusion I have reached as someone who had no expectations placed on them school work wise, and who managed to meet that level of expectation head on by achieving the bear minimum, is that what is lost when you are left to your own devices (unless you are personally driven to do otherwise) is that you don't really learn the skills to be an effective adult. You don't learn the value of effort, you find you haven't got the grades to get into the courses and jobs that will help you find the social equals you have craved through school, you look at the 'normal' people around you and feel like either you or they must be defective (and are never quite sure which) because you're always talking about slightly different things. This was certainly my experience and the experience of my husband and a handful of other friends. All of whom have had to do a lot of work as adults to rectify these situations, and missed years - in some case decades - of possibly more fulfilling friendships, marriages, jobs.
In dd's case I am not interested in her grades. She hit As all round in her most recent report but I know it didn't involve any effort, so there's no value in them. If she were getting Bs and I knew she'd had to really think and apply herself I'd be over the moon. That your son is having to learn a new language provides at least a required challenge. I'm personally skeptical about any but the most extraordinary school's capacity to provide more than one or two real challenges to kids working more than a grade ahead (and schools that can adequately do that are extraordinary enough in themselves!) Anything you can get is great (though as I mention below, more will likelybbe needed over time)
In terms of your son's age and how much to push - I felt similarly to you about is it really necessary to push, especially when they are so young and I (personally) am not a believer in greater gifts = greater responsibilities - though I do think one has a responsibility to treat everyone, ones self included, with respect. That, to a certain extent requires that you make choices that will bring you health, fulfilment and happiness - choices which will undoubtedly require effort. Despite my comments above, we haven't pushed dd hard but we have talked a lot about effort. Now, at 7, I feel she's ready to take a bit more pressure and some higher expectations and has the capacity to understand why we are asking it of her. The thing to remember is that 'normal' children have been having to apply themselves from a very young age. I have sat with kindergarteners while they learn to read and their effort - even for the bright ones - is immense. A level of effort I am still yet to see dd emulate. They try things, they fail at things - discover it is ok and that the world doesn't fall in when you can't do something first time. While dd's reading abilities might be at high school level - her a ability to apply herself to genuinely challenging things, fail and get up again is, I would argue, below age level.
My thoughts would be to encourage his self directed learning as it is evident you are doing, think about what you value in terms out comes for your ds and work towards that. I would be concerned about the fact that the work itself is become too easy - the language aspect is great, as I said, but eventually that will no longer present a challenge. Don't worry too much about knowledge gaps - they can be filled and any acceleration (unless they are prepared to compact the curriculum) will involve some gaps that need to be filled. Dd has found they fill quickly because of how quickly she learns . Further, at least with maths, at that level the difference between grade 1 - grade 2 work is not significant concept wise from our experience.
Good luck and, among all the advice you get and push back from teachers, remember to trust your gut.
