Thank you Evemomma-- achievement anorexia is the absolute BEST ever description for this. Just like anorexia, it isn't about the 'success' gained with the behavior, it's about the locus of control gained during it. The achievement is just a temporary relief from 'failure.'
This teacher basically just told my recovering anorexic to skip dessert because she's packing on a few pounds. I think that ANY good parent would blow a gasket at that.
We had worked SO hard toward that goal of "sometimes other people just don't 'get' you, it's not personal, keep your head down and just do your work, don't worry about it... be flexible... etc." This is a big part of the reason why she's in a public school and NOT homeschooled-- she is so personality sensitive, and because of her quirk of being about 80% Socratic in her learning style, it makes a HUGE difference to her learning as often as not.
I do think that the teacher is far from a heartless jerk. He just really DOES NOT KNOW my child.
