DD 22 months watches far too much TV every day. I just don't know what to do with her. If she isn't watching TV, she wants me involved in whatever she's doing... although sometimes I can clean or whatever and she'll just play with me as I move around.

I know we should go outside more but I HATE the weather here. It is SO hot and uncomfortable. It's October and still in the 80s most days. I've been here two years and I still hate it and want to stay in a/c all day.

If the day went the way she wanted it to, I think it would be a long series of me amusing her by playing with play dough, watching her do puzzles, helping her practice riding her balance bike, holding her while I dance around the room, chasing her down the sidewalk, and then fending off requests for "Barney". She would also probably love going to the park and out to places more each day.

It's not like it is tons of work...and I love being with her... but dare I say I get a little bored? I feel horrible saying that, but it's really hard for me to watch her do puzzles, etc. for more than an hour. I start thinking about doing work on my business and I shamelessly try to get her excited to go watch Super Why, and after a few episodes it is time for lunch and a nap. I enjoy researching, writing, and furthering my business, but I feel like I should have better time management skills and keep the work to only a few hours a day.

I cook sporadically, we have no bed time routine because DH gets home late, and the house is kind of a mess.

I don't understand how SAHM's want to run around all day to the park, playdates, enrichment activities.... and still clean their house, make lots of food, and play with their kids. I feel selfish and like I am failing miserably at this domestic thing. It was my business that kept me SANE through the first year of her life. The colic, her intensity, her screaming in the car seat...I dove into the work to keep my mind engaged in something.

I think it is really hard, too, because she doesn't talk. She just signs. I don't know what she's thinking about half the time and we can't have a real conversation yet. And actually, I will probably feel worse when she starts talking, because then she'll probably be begging me to structure her day like I just wrote.

Blah. I'm thinking of finishing college now, too, on top of working on my business, and I'm afraid she'll be even more shortchanged.

I always try to remind myself how fast she's growing and how I will miss these sweet days, but still, I don't seem to have the dedication necessary to do everything "right."

Last edited by islandofapples; 10/20/12 04:54 PM.