Mary,
First - welcome! Sorry it took me so long to see your post.
2nd - Is your son just finishing 3rd grade? Did the two tier program start at the beginning of 3rd or will it start next year? If your son is already in the 2 tier program and still needs individual work then he and your dd both need a grade skip on top of the program. If the 2 tier program hasn't started yet, then it's ok to hope for the older boy.
Can you get the Kindergarten teacher to write a letter stating that your DD is ready to start 3rd grade in the Fall? Is there a Gifted Coordinator that you know from your son that you could give the letter too?
My suggestion is that you ask for your daughter to be placed with her 'learning readiness peers' in 3rd next year so that the school and 'show you who's boss' and place her in 2nd while saving face by not giving you everything you asked for.
It's possible that by requesting a grade skip (to 2nd or 3rd) in writing that the school will do their own IQ testing and save you some money while you qualify for Davidson.
Just because a school doesn't usually do something like a grade skip, or subject accelerations, or including your DD in the 3rd grade lower tier gifted program for enrichment, doesn't mean that they won't when they get that your kid really does have special educational needs.
Talk to the school. Ask if testing done now will be still fresh enough for 2 tiered program placement. Ask which tests they accept.
An alternative is to homeschool her for a few years until she is old enough to do the 2 tier program.
It seems to me that by now the school knows your kids and should be as interested as you are that your DD doesn't have to become the resident clay artist.
Let us know, ok?
Grinity
