We had one of those family resource centers where I lived when my child was that age but I never did go to it. Not on purpose, I think I just never got around to it and when I called them a couple of times they didn't call back.
The sitting in a circle quietly I could see trying to work with...especially if an adult is reading to them. But an active 3 1/2 year old is tough! It takes a long time to learn this. When I went to school we never heard of the concept until our few hours of Kindergarten...that was in the Jurassic period.
When my child was two she "graduated" to the lap-sit level of the library storytime program. We had been going since she was a few months old, but librarian who ran it expected your child to sit in your lap and not wander around once they were two. My child wouldn't sit in my lap quietly and listen (she'd listen while playing though) but since it wasn't acceptable it wasn't a good match so we were storytime drop-outs.
The staying until the end of a program, for a 3 1/2 year old...? I could see encouraging a child to stay if someone is in the middle of reading a story, but if they're struggling to get out of there or making noise, I'd think it's really better etiquette to leave and not disrupt the others.
The accurate copying of craft projects etc...it's bad enough when older kids have to do this in school and all pics on the wall are the same, but 3 1/2? Maybe you could just ignore the disapproval for that one. And keep all of this in mind as an education for yourself when scoping out preschools and schools.
When my child was that age we spent alot of time going to nature centers where sometimes they had a little story or craft but it was mostly exploring outside or inside with hands-on things. Also botanical gardens were a real life-saver. Or those hands-on children's museums, you can get a membership. Are there places like that you could go to in addition to the resource center to break things up somewhat?
I guess I've always been spoiled for choices but I've always lived in or just outside a major or mid-sized city my entire life.
