You will find plenty of company out here of parents who have met those "Gifted Denier" teachers and administrators! One thing you might consider, though, is whether your D might be 2E. My D has a very high IQ and also a non-verbal learning disability. Slow writing was one of her issues, too. Definitely not saying that this is the case for sure, but just something for you to consider.
I have to tell you... you probably will have to be THAT PARENT to get what your D needs. There are other parents who have had some luck getting acceleration from their schools -- I think they often go in to meet with the teacher, taking test scores and examples of what their child is doing at home. Also, if you can scope out the teachers for the next grade level and make a request for the one who seems most likely to accomodate your D, that has been a good move for us in the past.
One more thing to consider, our experience has been that small/private does not always translate into the right environment for a gifted kid. We are wishing mightily this year that we had moved our D to a different high school (private K-12, we have had at least one kid there for 17 years) back in 9th grade or earlier (she is a junior now). This year it has become abundantly clear that they have neither the ability nor the interest to meet her acceration needs.
