It sounds pretty different from a lot of what I've heard of traditional Waldorf schools. You said that you have friends whose kids go there. Would you feel comfortable discussing your concerns with them? You might get some more perspective.
I think it's really hard when you're dealing with people who believe strongly about anything -- what they mean when they say they don't strictly follow something or other may not mean exactly what you think!
Another anecdote -- I remember bonding with the preschool teacher over Tolkien before DS started there. There was no way I could have imagined things would turn out as as uncomfortably as they did! And really, I still like and respect her very much, but I would not send another child there if I had one. (She will always be liked as the first person to suggest that DS would need acceleration some day.)
