I'm guessing that maybe your ds' age as listed above is a typo? Since your dd is "also" 9 years old?
If it's not a typo, why is he in 2nd grade?
FWIW I think you're headed in the logical direction, getting an outside assessment. While waiting for the assessment, I'd probably check into what other school options are available where you live, if you're willing to consider a school change if you find it's something your ds needs. When your ds has his assessment, it's possible the provider may have knowledge of local school programs/staff personality etc and might be able to give you advice re what to do next for your ds.
