I think that a piece here that you might be missing is that the task avoidance that you described in your OP as not being willing to "play the game" may be serving a vital function for her. Many people with ADHD resist these sorts of rote tasks once they realize how difficult they are for them because there is no correlation between their effort and their outcomes, and it is psychologically much safer to refuse to do it than to try hard and still fail, particularly when all the people around you, many of whom you may otherwise see as not-quite-as-smart as you are, can do them easily. It can be very threatening to self-concept and confidence, and the fact that many teachers put great emphasis on fluency and speed only makes it worse. "How can I be smart when I can't do what these not-so-bright kids can?" If you refuse to try, you can always tell yourself that you could have done it, you just decided not to.

From my perspective, it would be worth fighting to get accommodations. You may also want to look into getting an advocate to deal with the school system on your behalf. We chose to homeschool rather than go to court, but if homeschool really isn't an option, start building your paper trail now so hopefully you won't have to do either and will get an appropriate education for your child.

Here are some links and resources that you might want to check out:

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/2e.index.htm

http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/2e.gifted.adhd.pdf

http://www.amazon.com/Different-Min...ome/dp/1853029645/ref=cm_cr_dp_orig_subj

The whole Wrightslaw site is a gold mine of special education law information, and will be a great help as you move down the road.