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With regard to the responses from other moms to your daughter's reading, I had a comment.

I had to explain to our son repeatedly from ages 2-5 that none of his friends could read. He just thought that his friends' abilities would be the same as his. He and I had a conversation about how everyone is different and develops differently. It helped that one of his best friends was extremely athletic (learned to swim at 3, to ride without training wheels at 4, etc.), and I used him as an example, since he could do things that our son could not do.

The reading issue first came up when one of his friends (who knew our son could read) asked our son to read a sign out loud (because he couldn't read it himself) and our son thought that his friend was making fun of him for some reason. Our son said, "why don't you just read it yourself? you don't need me to read it out loud!" It was then that I realized that our son really thought that everyone else his age could read well.

With other parents, I usually bring up experiences like the one above, with our son's friend who swam/biked so early. I would say something like, "Our son is an early reader, but I get nervous about his development in other areas. Kids develop at such different paces, that it's so tempting for me to compare, but I know it's usually not helpful to do that. I should just relax and trust that he'll learn to swim when he's ready." When other moms (especially ones who might be feeling insecure) hear me express MY worries about areas where our son is slower-than-normal, they can better relate to me. Our son can bike and swim now, but I can still retell my experience of feeling like he was behind the curve in those areas, and it always sets the other mom at ease.

Tara

ps: Before making an appointment, I asked our tester how much experience she had testing gifted children and what sorts of things she would do differently if a child approached the test ceiling. That might be one way to find out more about your proposed tester's experience and approach with gifted kids.