Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Any EG kids not feel comfortable with older kids?

I wouldn't say our PG DS9 is uncomfortable with older kids, but when he is in a large group of them, the dynamics def. change.

First, he is an extrovert and plays well with kids both several years younger and several years older (although often with younger ones, he is being a good host, or humoring them). He is very "fair" and gets very upset when he sees mean behavior or injustice.

With his own age friends, I think he very much takes the lead and sets the tone. In his "areas" (i.e. academics, legos, robotics, etc) he is so confident I think they defer to him (sometimes too much IMO). If it is about sports or some computer games, they will not defer as much.

In a group of older kids he discovers that his "authority" (for lack of a better word) decreases. Where he is used to being in the thick of it, he may be marginalized more (he also is not very into pop culture, etc. and it becomes more important in middle school, so that starts to become obvious). Thus, he may start to feel like he doesn't interact as much with the older kids when he is in a larger group. I remind him that if he is polite, kind to others and makes an effort to be a friend he will have plenty of friends and that usually does happen, although he has gone to camps where it took a couple days, and had a smaller group of friends.

Finally, if the camp is for 7-9 year olds (and he is nearly 7), there must be some kids there who are within six months of his age and who wouldn't exclude him. Have you spoken with the camp director or counselor about this? Also, inclusive behavior is a good thing to teach regardless of age, and they should be making sure it happens at camp.

And no matter what, they should make sure all kids have an equal opportunity to do experiments and participate in camp - that is what you are paying for.

Good luck, Cat