LDmom, thank you. it really does help to hear from people who've "gone before us" so to speak, and to talk to people who really understand how scary and overwhelming this all is... most people say "wow, how cool" or something similar, because they really can't see all of the 'issues'.
I really like the sound of the way you're managing things, it sounds like a good mix. The idea of homeschooling both excites and scares me - I can't imagine managing without some kind of break from the intensity that is my darling son sometimes. I also worry that he'll miss out on some things if we keep him home - I'm not sure what, just "something" lol! I'd love to find some way of having part time school / home balance, but I'm not sure how or if we could find a place where school would fit him for anything. I love him so much, but he really is an oddball when you put him with other 4 y.o's.